Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize