You made me cry and you don't even care
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
