Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
