I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
