He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
