i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
MIDGETS
????
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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