did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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