Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
