I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend