Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

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  (816): If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance. http://tfl.nu/qptg
  Replies (11) Good night (3029) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We are so in love

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so when's the next time you get to see your balls

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  (318): We are so in love (504): so when's the next time you get to see your balls http://tfl.nu/6s0s
  Replies (7) Good night (3049) Bad night (981)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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  (440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses http://tfl.nu/u543
  Replies (6) Good night (4240) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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  (630): So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again. http://tfl.nu/rreu
  Replies (54) Good night (956) Bad night (4806) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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  (609): This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/9axz
  Replies (30) Good night (7022) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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  (204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb
  Replies (9) Good night (1348) Bad night (4215) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?

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  (760): My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this? http://tfl.nu/9ow4
  Replies (8) Good night (7173) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?

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  (513): so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned? http://tfl.nu/1jvr
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (1690) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.

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  (214): There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/17ls
  Replies (7) Good night (1505) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?

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  (770): He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well? http://tfl.nu/i7ab
  Replies (10) Good night (1696) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight

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  (619): Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight http://tfl.nu/2z23
  Replies (14) Good night (1683) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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  (845): Make me a sandwich (301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a
  Replies (26) Good night (5903) Bad night (565)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period

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  (440): Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period http://tfl.nu/lfle
  Replies (8) Good night (2095) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"

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  (937): She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!" http://tfl.nu/x0ik
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister

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  (605): You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister http://tfl.nu/xlrp
  Replies (13) Good night (299) Bad night (1262) Order T-Shirt

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