I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.