no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
