You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol