In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think my mom watched the whole time
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.