8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning