well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.