Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Alive.
So much puke
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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