My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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