I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
