i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize