somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
