So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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