We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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