How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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