I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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