I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
high people should be assigned attendants
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
