I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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