He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
