Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
