I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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