Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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