Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
