Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
