Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
