If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
