I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
