CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
