Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
