So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
should my penis look like a turkey
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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