Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
