I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
