This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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