Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
