wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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