but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize