You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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