Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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