If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
