god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
