Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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