I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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