Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
