went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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