I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
