Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
