"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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