I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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