Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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