i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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