Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
