He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
