Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
