I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
