I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
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MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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