I wish I could punch you in the face.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
